Cryptic Christmas

A colleague of mine once received a set of coat hangers as their secret Santa present. The incident is fairly famous at work as among one of the biggest secret Santa disasters.

I've been through several Secret Santas and each experience has taught me a little something about the human condition. Here are a few reflections to help you survive the festive merriment.

You Are Not That Interesting 

While we can all dream of a present that is a playful yet thoughtful reference to one of your most lovable quirks, the laws of probability states your gift giver probably won't have a relationship with you that allows them to be privy to those kinds of insights. After all, you are probably not as interesting as you consider yourself. Consumables like bath soaps, chocolates or upmarket fudge are all fairly safe bets. If you're getting these than you can assume your gift giver doesn't really know an awful lot about you, but fortunately they wish you no harm.  

It Is More Blessed To Give Than To Receive

I hooked that one straight about of the Bible, and it is kind of what Christmas is about. One year, I struck gold with my random allocation and managed to get the perfect present. The recipient loved their gift so much they posted a picture of it on Facebook and it got about 10 likes. My gift on the other hand was a little bit disappointing. I received an alcoholic beverage, which was no use to me as I average about two drinks a year.  I was so cross about the whole thing I proudly told my colleague that I had bought her the gift she loved so dearly. Just because you got someone a great gift, doesn't mean you deserve one - doing good things with a sense of entitlement is terrible and bad.

Secret Santa Is Not The Place To Try Out Your Comedic Talents

This one is fairly obvious. If someone in the office was hospitalised by a boar in October, a cuddly pig is probably not the best choice. Unless you have a great relationship with the person and you know they're cool with whatever aspect of their character you're subtly mocking steer clear of anything comedic. I've never known anyone to be upset by a box of country fudge. I am also yet to see nipple tassells go down well. Some free advice there.

Have Fun And Don't Be An Idiot

The gift you receive probably isn't a deep insight into what people think of you as a person. Because people like to receive nice gifts they also tend to avoid giving intentionally bad ones. Secret Santa is not designed to be a baffling ordeal but is designed so everyone you work with might get a present, have a laugh and enjoy Christmas a little bit more.

In case you are wondering, I received some chocolate this year, which falls into the giver probably doesn't know me very well so got me a safe gift and that is okay category. Maybe I'll get the Bulgarian Phrasebook next year....