The Dark Playground

DISCLAIMER: Many of today's ideas come from a really helpful blog on procrastination by a guy called Tim Urban on his website Wait But Why - You can read the particular blog entry I make reference to  here.

I used to have a really bad procrastination problem but we will talk about later.

Never before has life been so busy. Friends demanding our time and extra curricular activities demanding our attention. In the space of the next 10 days I've got two Bible talks to give, two Bible studies to prepare, replace my rear view mirror, learn a Romanian funeral dirge on the violin. I also need to go to work and do other adulty things.

We also live in a world where it has never been so easy to find entertainment. Apps, on-demand television, social media and the Internet in general.  Long story short; procrastination has never been easier.

This is where Tim Urban's notion of The Dark Playground is so helpful. Playgrounds, in their very nature, are fun. But what if, every single swing, roundabout and climbing frame in the playground was tinged with sadness, paranoia and regret? The swings don't go as high as they should, the slide doesn't go as fast as it should and the view from the top of the climbing frame is frankly disappointing.

A lengthy to do list yet I still find time to play Castlevania

Where am I going with this? Imagine you need to hoover the house.. It is a job you hate with a passion. It is dull and it is a hassle. You're also on the last episode of Season 2 of Homeland. The series has had you gripped from start to finish and you cannot wait to find out what crazy escapade Damien Lewis and Claire Danes are going to get up to next. It is a tough decision.

You opt for the season finale which, admittedly does excite you with its twists and its turns, but the experience is somewhat tainted. It has been tainted by the nagging feeling that you should really have been doing something else; something more important. You, my friend, have just spent the last hour in The Dark Playground. Just how much better would that show have been had you nothing else to do? You would have been able to enjoy it so much more.

We enjoy both our work and our leisure time when we get our priorities straight. When we do things in the right order. For, and the Dark Playground teaches us this, rest is not an absence of work but the completion of work. Not only has this mindset helped me get more stuff done, it has also enabled me to enjoy the things I love doing in a far more satisfactory way.

Living The Dream

About two and a half months ago, my life changed forever. My best friend got married.

The night before the wedding, we stayed up late watching videos on YouTube and listening to bad hip-hop together. There was a tinge of sadness in the air as this was the last time we would ever be able to do this ever again.

This also seemingly spelt the end of our band 'Ghosthorse.' Ghosthorse was an in-joke that had gotten way out of hand. Originally designed to be a thought experiment regarding music that probably should not exist- the project became a vehicle for many, many other things. Countless in-jokes, borrowing a trombone from the Salvation Army and the constant fear of being sued by Tiokasin Ghosthorse with whom we share the same Spotify page.  

"Do things you love with people you love" - Me

The day came and went and I played my part perfectly as The Best Man - I put a hole in some rental trousers and gave an encouraging and uplifting speech but one of the more poignant moments of the whole thing was a conversation with Olivia where she made me promise that her husband and I would still make music.

Last night, I went to their new pad, equipped with cables, laptops and a microphone and we made a song. All three of us.

It's a reflection on how Jesus isn't just any man but he's accomplished great things for His people in his death and resurrection. Ashley plays some of the synthesisers on this track and Livi lends her voice to the climax. We all had a lot of fun making it and I am super grateful for friends with whom I can do this sort of stuff with.

Lyrics
Behold this man upon a tree
God's great wrath for all to see
Behold, the man, crucified
Behold the King, glorified
The Empty tomb brings forth our song
He has righted every wrong
Behold, behold, behold, behold
Now stand amazed before his grace
Exalted in the highest place

Mila Rodino

My name is Michael

I work in a school and I spend a lot of my day trying not to run down corridors as I travel from classroom to classroom. Yesterday, a boy of about seven or eight saw me approaching at speed and stopped to hold a door open for me. This boy was one of the many Bulgarian speaking children that attend my school so I decided I would try and impress him by thanking him in his mother tongue.

"Благодаря,"
"Pardon?" came the confused response.
"Never mind...Thank you."

The encounter didn't go at all how I had planned. There was no surprised look of "how does he know that?" nor was there the response of "Няма защо" I was desperately hoping for.

But I wasn't to be defeated. Later that day, another of our Bulgarian students passed my classroom. I spotted her and beckoned her in.

"Can you come in here, please? " I asked, very politely. "I want to ask you a question."
"Okay," she nodded.
"Как си?"
She shrugged.
"Добре съм" I reassured her.

An explanation for my sudden interest in the native tongue of Europe's 16th biggest country is probably needed. My school has a big Bulgarian population and I work with many of the students who are still learning to speak english. In addition to this, I had spent a lot of the previous weekend of YouTube watching a video series called "Learn Bulgarian In Three Minutes" - featuring a lovely Bulgarian woman called Iva who talked me through the formalities of saying hello, asking how people were and asking how 'vena' a small coffee cost.

For a brief second, dedicating a lot of time to learning Bulgarian seemed like a good idea. Images of myself frolicking in the Black Sea, asking for directions and giving my phone number (having learnt the numbers едно through десет!) to my new Bulgarian friends raced through my mind. However,  those blank and bewildered looks from my Bulgarian students has taught me that no matter how much time you spend teaching yourself something in your bedroom, nothing can prepare you for actually doing it when it counts. It takes more than a weekend of YouTube videos to learn Bulgarian.  And the children's reactions taught me this. Perhaps, they were shy. Maybe my pronunciation was a little off.  Personally,  I think that my interest into their mother tongue felt like a bit of an intrusion, and I can hardly blame them.

But it's not all doom and gloom... I decided to test out my newly found language skills on a third Bulgarian pupil later that day. три times the charm, right?

"Добър ден"

He smiled.

"Sort of. It's okay. Keep going"

Learn, Practise, Apply.

Also pictured: FIFA 11 and International Cricket 2010

I have always been really interested in the theory behind learning new things. Modelling, scaffolding, zones of proximal development etc. Given my vocation as an educator to children this is no bad thing. Critically analysing the way we learn things and the way we practise things can make our learning more effective. In a busy world, we need to be smart about how we learn things to achieve the best possible results. Here's what I came up with and how I applied it to learning how to read bass clef and playing it on the bass guitar.

Learn
This is the boring and tedious part. I sat down with a piece of paper with a huge scale on it. It covered about three octaves, from the lowest E to the highest D on the bass guitar. All I did was look at the piece of paper and play along. Up the scale and down the scale.It is a dull process. It was also very easy. If things are easy it is possible to get complacent, so definitely don't

Practise
In my experience, learning works best when I do something little and often. If I had a spare ten minutes at any point, I would try and get some quality bass clef time in. To practise, I picked up random pieces of music and went through them, writing the names of the notes above the crotchets, minims and quavers. When I had become familiar with reading them I tried playing them, using my notations as help if I got stuck, while trying not to rely on them too much.  I can already read the alphabet, that wasn't the point of the exercise!

It is important to remember that repetition is not always the answer. Yes, smart practise requires one to do things over and over, but it can be super unhelpful if you're making the same mistakes over and over again! Don't do that. Zoom in. Micromanage the things you find hard.

Apply
This is the tricky part. It is okay to be able to read and play notes in isolation, but playing them in the context of a piece of music is  a whole different animal. I had to give meaning to my learning! This is where the original baffling ordeal came in to play. The choir. I used the sheet music, intended for singing practise, for bass practise. Thus bringing the two together! Not only was I able to get to grips with the tunes I was meant to be singing, but I was able to reinforce my bass clef sight reading. This is what we, in the business, call efficient practise.

I'm by no means an expert and still need to carry on practising as not to undo last weeks work. However, I do feel more confident in both singing and playing which can only be a good thing. If not for me, but for those who will be listening to me and the rest of the choir in 27 days time!

Back to Basics

32 more sleeps until I sing in a choir.

I settled down to practise for the festive sing-song this evening and ended up opening a whole can of worms. I got my music out and stared blankly at it for a few moments. As a tenor, all the parts I'll be required to sing are all written on the bass stave. Despite having played bass in my church's music group for about 6 years I cannot read bass clef. This is a classic example of me 'not quite finishing the job' -This needs remedying.

I own many, many instruments; guitar, glockenspeil, violin, erhu, mandolin, ukelele but the bass guitar was my first foray into the world of music. As a teenager all of my friends were getting electric guitars and starting bands. I reasoned that, as it is a less glamorous instrument, bass players would be in short supply and high demand. All I had to do was learn the bass and I would be the most 'in demand' kid in school.

As it happened there were plenty of good bass players in Year 10 at Glyn Technology; Ben, Lewis, Nathan and Tom being the "Big Four" of four strings. Being the worst bass player at school wasn't really part of the plan so, as a result, the bass guitar got put into a cupboard never to be seen again.

Years later I discovered there was a shortage of bass players in my church's music group. This was a good opportunity to get the bass out of the cupboard and finally be of use to someone. This time the goal wasn't to get good at bass guitar so I could be popular, this time the goal was to serve the Lord by helping his people worship him in song... only I never quite learnt how to read the music.

Our first baffling ordeal is to finish learning how to read music and try to apply it.

He Has Overcome

Sometimes I finish things.

See me in the club, dwelling on my own mortaliy

One of my biggest hobbies is making music. Despite the fact I cannot play half of my instruments to an acceptable standard I sometimes manage to get a tune out of one or two of them.

In 6 years I have recorded six albums under my own name. I've covered many themes in my writing; fear, wild nights out, rejection, ghosts, europhia, the art of George W. Joy, existentialism and the Illuminati.

Here's something I actually finished this weekend. I've been toying around with the idea of including vocals in my stuff for a while but have never actually plucked up the courage to pick up the microphone.

In an attempt to sing about something meaningful I've decided that my faith was a pretty rich topic to talk about. I believe that no matter how many times I mess up, there is nothing I can do to separate myself from the love that Jesus has for me.

It's called Mountains (He Has Overcome)

An Inevitable Beginning

Corn maze. 2015. A baffling ordeal.

I got wiring loose inside my head
I got books that I never ever read

Porcupine Tree – Blackest Eyes

I've done a silly thing; I joined a choir. I consider myself to be a competent singer. Singing is fun and singing is enjoyable. The whole thing is proving to be a baffling ordeal. During one of the trickier passages I turned to my friend and said “It's impossible. It can't be done” - and therein lies my problem. It is is possible and it certainly can be done.

While wild exaggeration is probably my favourite thing, giving up is probably a close second. These two characteristics have created a deadly cocktail in which I've never finished anything.Unlearned instruments litter my bedroom. Harry Potter is doomed to never finish wizard school. Films remained unwatched. Some of the CDs are still in their cellophane! My upcoming novel has more production years behind it than chapters. Something must be done about this.

Just how many ideas, thoughts and experiences am I missing out on with my 'always say die' attitude? Many of my philosophy lecturers at University often talked about human responsibility in the arts and other disciplines as taking ideas as far as they possibly can. I believe this but I simply cannot do it so we are going to do it together. Me and you. You and I. Some of these things will be worth the wait; some of them will leave me wondering how I lived without them and others will simply be a complete waste of everybody's time.

The choir is performing on the 20^th December and I'm determined to get on that stage and belt out those festive tunes with an admirable amount of gusto. Here's hoping it won't be the baffling ordeal it currently poses itself to be. The build up to the performance will serve as the main story-arc in the opening stages of what will be an eye opening, if self indulgent, journey.